Sunday, January 4, 2015

Last day of Vacation

So it's my last night of vacation, and I'm not ready for it to end, so I'm stalling going to bed by typing this. I thought I would explain why I say "that's gay" and other similar things that can be construed as negatively using words meaning homosexual.

Basically, when I was in junior high and early highschool I was an uptight bitch. Like I was super serious especially when it came to school work, and didn't goof off at all. I quickly realized I had very few friends, and my brother was coming home with new friends every day. I looked closely at my brothers character, and then at myself. Why did he have friends and I didn't? Well it was because he was fun and I wasn't.

After I noticed that I started trying to change my personality. I realized I could take school seriously, but be a more loose and relaxed person. It was a matter of attitude. Just because I work hard and take my work seriously didn't mean I had to be uptight all the time. I could chill and crack jokes while doing my work ya know? Anywho about this time I really started looking more at character traits and attributes people had that made the fun to be around. One thing that I noticed as an instant turn off is when people were easily offended. I became a pretty crude person, and when people were easily offended it was like "damn bitch lighten up" and I didn't ever want to talk to them.

So I looked at what made me offended by things. I was offended because things were mean? But what made them mean? There were a lot of reasons that I thought made things "mean" but what it really boiled down to is how I received things. Someone could say "you look good today" and I could take it as a compliment, or I could be all like "bitch I only look good? Why don't I look great are you calling me fat and ugly?" like really I realized it's possible to be offended by anything. And I mean literally anything. But what would being offended get me? Nothing besides the reputation as a bitch, and it wouldn't make people want to hang out with me. So I decided that if being offended gets me nothing, why do it?

It took a while, but I learned to just not be offended. I've had people say pretty mean things about me, but I was like "whatever?" That really is the best word I learned to use in highschool. Just because some dick in highschool calls me a "pussy ass bitch" doesn't mean it's true. It's only true if I believe it or allow it to get to me. So just don't? It's that easy. Just don't let what people say get to you. I learned to be who I was and be proud of it, and not let the things others say affect me.

Now because of this realization I am no longer offended by really anything. I also quickly learned that laughter is the one thing that can make a day instantly better. There is no downside to laughter, so I find humor in everything I do. Once my mum and I had to spread manure over my front lawn to fertilize the grass we had/were going to plant, and it sucked. I could have just had a bad attitude and had no fun, but instead I climbed the biggest stack of manure out there and yelled "I'm king of crap!" and made me mum laugh and I laughed and tons of poop/crap jokes ensued, and we actually had a good time. Over time this ability to find humor in anything has gotten a bit out of hand to the point where I can laugh at anything. I can laugh at 9/11 or a funeral, or pretty much anything people think is terrible. To me there is no "too soon" for jokes. Joking about 9/11 won't make it worse, it won't make more or less people die that tragic day, but laughing makes my day better, so why not laugh about it? Some people think it's a bad ability to have, but I like it.

Anyway when I realized I was gay, I just applied this to being gay. I make gay jokes all the time (to my friends who know). That why on this blog I'll say things like "_____ is pretty gay" or "all the homo." It's not because I really am that gay or anything, but because I can joke about myself. Being gay (and mormon) sucks, but if I can make it funny or fun at all I will. So if people are reading this and you think I'm weird because I say odd things about being gay, it's because I'm having fun with it. I don't intend to offend anyone.

To end on a lighter note (this is not my convo, found it on the internet):



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