Monday, December 22, 2014

Well Damn....

Wanted to title this with the F word but I'm trying to be more appropriate haha. Anyway so I told said friend via text. We were actually in an online chat, and I told him I had something to tell him as he logged off, so he texted me and told him to say what it was.

When it comes to this friend I had two idea of how he would react. Reaction A would be to be disgusted/pissed and not reply/get angry. Reaction B would be to not care at all (Omg options are care or not care... surprise!) and feel a little bad (he does say fag and gay and homo in a derogatory way quite a lot). I was seriously praying for reaction B, but I'm at the point where I've heard this a lot:
"IF people can't accept you as gay, then they aren't a real friend anyway and you don't need them" so I just kinda yoloed and was like if reaction A happens it's all good.

Anywho reaction B was the initial reaction thank goodness. Here's my take on it though... I feel bad that he feels bad about it. Being that I don't really care about anything anymore, I don't give a shit what words people use or how people live their lives. As long as nobody is directly attacking me I'm okay. Plus when said friend uses gay and fag in a negative way, I know he doesn't actually mean they are homosexual. They're kinda like mormon swear words, they just mean they don't like the person. So I really don't care that anyone uses those words, hell I even use gay all the time (meaning stupid) and fag (meaning asshole more than anything) so it's not a big deal to me.

Here's the gay thing, my stupid homo brain (from a TV show) decided to tell him at like fucking 2 in the morning, so he went to bed before we could really discuss it. the initial reaction was 100% solid, but I like to talk about this shit when I tell people so that they can get a solid guage as to how I am the was I am and I can sway them into not being bothered by my love of men. I don'd want people I tell overthinking it because I couldn't clear everything up for them, and then treat me funny. It doesn't affect our friendship at all ya know.

Anywho I'll report tomorrow what happens I guess. here's the youtube video for "my stupid homo brain." I probably shouldn't use that phrase as much as I do haha.


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